


Starlight

by MarirnersRevenge



Series: Tiny Star [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, F/M, Pre-Relationship, Theo has anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 15:03:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12750675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarirnersRevenge/pseuds/MarirnersRevenge
Summary: "For all he knows she could be some sort of honeypot and like leading him to his doom to be violently murdered by a deranged psychopath wearing a tiara or something. And all he can think is that he regrets that he didn't tell Draco to stop being a fucking ponce and that he should have worn nicer boxers when she stops in a clearing and lies down." Part 2 of Tiny Star





	Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in the same universe as Together they flew about a month or two after those events. Background Dramione relationship mentioned and seen in glimpses. 
> 
> This is a pre-relationship story. I wanted to write something that had a hopeful end and also as a way of just dealing with things in my own life. 
> 
> As always everything Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling.

It's official.

This party blows, Theo cringes as another person steps into his personal space.

First, Blaise "Oh no I totally know what I'm doing, guys" was playing something god awful and it sounded like two cats fucking stuck in a metal crate. The empty dance floor was a testament to Blaise's terrible music choices. Much to Theo's displeasure. Theo had spent an hour- a fucking hour! - moving all of the shitty dorm furniture out the way while Draco surveyed the process. And by surveyed Theo meant Draco spent that hour on the phone texting with his new girlfriend. Like he hadn't just been with her all day.

Second, who the fuck are all these people? Theo didn't know half the people here and the ones he did know he saw on a regular basis and he really seriously wanted to just kick everyone out and go back to sleep.

But then he'd miss all this quality alcohol that Draco had borrowed, liberated, from his parents' summer home and stashed in a totally non conspicuous duffle bag in their shared closet. So Theo settled on getting copiously drunk and watched as Blaise "I have shit tastes" drunkenly flirt with a pretty red head, whose boyfriend was standing right there; hovering over her shoulder like a fucking petulant child glaring at Blaise while the red head looked incredibly amused.

Pansy was currently murdering her cup as she watched Draco and his new girlfriend- it was something fucking Shakespearian like Ophelia or Perdita- be disgustingly in-love. Theo had heard enough over the last few months about Hermione- that's what her name was! - from Draco that he felt like he was in some weird pseudo relationship with her at this point and couldn't decide if he should initiate a conversation on polyamory or somehow murder Draco without getting caught if he goes on one more time about her goddamn eyes.

The music had turned from grating to fucking tears of blood irritating and some man child just bumped into Theo's shoulder sloshing his drink onto his vintage shirt that he spent a a ridiculous amount of money on; when this girl just literally floats into the empty space and begins to dance

Or at least Theo thinks it's dancing but she really just looks like she's the main character in a 80s film dancing the rage away in an abandoned warehouse in the forest. And Theo can't seem to keep his eyes off of her.

As the Christmas lights they hung up for ambience glint off her skin and hair and she looks like some woodland faerie that got lost on the way back from that 3 Wishes festival in Cornwall; in her cropped yellow sweater and thin looking skirt that brushes the ground every time she glides back down to earth.

Theo realizes that she is staring at him and has been for the majority of time she's been dancing and is now approaching him and Jesus Christ she is right in front of him.

She's shorter than him only reaching up to his chin and her silver hair, that makes him wonder if she's distantly related to Draco, is tied up in a messy bun that looked to be held together by the sheer will of a couple of pens. Her large blue eyes blink slowly and he swallows the anxiety that comes from actually having to talk to people. It's a wonder he even has the friends he has but, while they're a bunch of assholes most times, they had clicked that last year of secondary school when Theo was the dreaded new kid.

Theo is the silent screaming internally type that much rather be anywhere but here. Draco is some sort of being carved of ice but at the same time fire and out of everyone Theo likes him the most. Blaise is a fucking double hipster, who can't seem to keep it in his pants because he has no pants. He's a constant stream of terrible choices and impossibly terrible music tastes but his confidence is astronomical and Theo is envious of that. Pansy is just Pansy. Her name is synonymous with words like "difficult" and "vindictive" and she wears the blood of her enemies on her fingernails.

It doesn't help now to think of his inadequacies because she's talking to him and the only thing he catches is one phrase that sounds like she just said "Little Bear." And now Theo has fallen into a long repressed memory of his mother gently touching his face and calling him that as she laughs because he was this chubby little kid who loved to imagine he was a bear in the forest. It feels as if the air has been sucked out and the room is growing smaller like he's Alice but instead of being vaguely annoyed he is panicking.

He's being lead outside when the sound of the music and the oppressive heat of the crowded room die away and he feels a cool hand rubbing his back gently and a soft voice and blue eyes breathing in tandem slowly.

In, two, three

Out, two, three

When he feels less like an elephant sitting on his chest and his mind is less hazy it's only then does he release his death grip on this girl's hand but she still holds on lightly to his larger one.

Theo doesn't know whether to cry or wish for the earth to open up and swallow him so he settles for stony embarrassed silence. The girl doesn't seem to care and they stare out into the darkness together and Theo finds he doesn't mind.

But he needs to get back because as nice as this is he knows that the other shoe is going to drop and she's going to start asking questions. Because that's all girls seem to do when confronted with his burdens. Despite his counselor telling him that these aren't burdens or defects because they are a part of him just like everything else and he shouldn't be ashamed. Theo always thought he was just placating him.

"Do you want to hear a story?"

The girl still isn't looking at him when she asks but has instead begun to walk off and Theo doesn't know if he's supposed to follow her or something but he does. And as they walk further away from the safety of the bright lights of the dorms and get surrounded by trees and bushes he begins to curse internally.

For all he knows she could be some sort of honeypot and like leading him to his doom to be violently murdered by a deranged psychopath wearing a tiara or something. And all he can think is that he regrets that he didn't tell Draco to stop being a fucking ponce and that he should have worn nicer boxers when she stops in a clearing and lies down.

Theo awkwardly shifts from one foot to another until she pats the ground next to her. Once he's settled a couple of feet away she begins.

"Once upon a time there was a witch who loved to study the stars. Every night she would walk up the path that lead up a great big mountain and chart the stars on her map. Every morning when the last star faded from view she would walk back down to her cottage."

Theo isn't exactly sure where this story is going but he is too polite, cowardly to stop her.

"The town's people always disregarded what the witch was doing because they found her to be too unusual for their tastes. Except for one man. He decided that he wanted to know more and so he waits at the top of the mountain for her. The witch is surprised to see him there and even more surprised when he shows an interest in what she is doing. They fall in love day by day and then one day they get married the stars their only witnesses. They were exceedingly happy and even more so when they were joined by their own little star. The witch named her Luna and they were happy for a time…"

The girl falls silent and Theo turns his head to look at her.

"What happened?"

She looks at him then, her eyes two bright orbs that seem to glow in the darkness. She gives him a smile that is both parts heartbreaking and happy before she continues.

"The witch became sick. She had begun to have terrible headaches and then her vision began to blur. Each day it got worse and the man brought doctors and healers from all over to help her but no one knew what to do. They couldn't help. The man continued to bring people anyway but the witch knew her time was coming to an end. So one night she told the man that she needed to go up the mountain to see the stars. Together they walked slowly up the mountain until they reached the very top. The witch turned to the man and her little Luna and kissed them both. It was time. I love you both so much, she had said her voice breaking, I will always be here to watch over you. And with those parting words the witch dissolved into starlight. Oh, don't cry…"

Theo didn't know when the tears had started falling until he feels her cool hand wiping the tears from his cheeks. He doesn't know why the story affected him like it did but as he watches the girl pull back her hand and sit up he finds he doesn't want to let her go.

"Wait," he says to her as she starts to walk out of the clearing, "what's your name?"

She stops and turns to him that same smile on her face as she answers.

"Luna."

000

It was a normal Tuesday and Theo was spending it like he did every day.

Sleeping.

Except he couldn't sleep in his dorm because Draco had brought Hermione over to "study." Yes and I am a fucking monkey's uncle, he thought sourly as he lay down in the same clearing that he had visited with Luna 3 weeks ago. Thinking about her makes him think about her story and the way her smile looked. It was different for him to be thinking about a girl when on principle he stays away from them like they're carrying the plague and the only girls in his life currently are not options at all.

Hermione is with Draco and while he thinks they are completely disgusting in their obvious feelings for each he can't but be envious. They don't carry all the same shitty hang ups that he carries around like he's a peddler of broken dreams.

Pansy is fucking battery acid. She's got her own issues and while they equal his on a level she's too caustic and she'd destroy him like the wraith that she is.

Sighing, Theo closes his eyes and just enjoys the sun on his face when he feels the sun's heat dissipate. Opening his eyes he sees that it's Luna and she's looking down at him curiously like he's some newly discovered bacteria she's just placed under a microscope. She's dressed in a bright orange shirt dress with tights that look like spider webs and is wearing a necklace of buttons that hangs down to her stomach.

"Hello, I see you're enjoying the radiation. May I join you?"

She doesn't wait for him to reply before she lies down next to him and crosses her bright purple ankle boots. Theo is highly uncomfortable at the close proximity, even though he has been thinking of her off and on for the last few weeks since their encounter. He feels like he should probably say something when she begins to talk.

"I have always found the Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy to be the one that applies the most."

Theo is not sure that is even a thing but he's trying not be rude as shit as his friends say so he settles on a polite tone.

"Pardon?"

Luna looks over to him and smiles but it's different than that first time, less burdened.

"Or maybe in your case the Law of Polarity works better. Hm, I can definitely see that. Yes." And Theo isn't sure why they are having a conversation like this but he wants to figure out what is happening in her brain.

"Um," Theo clears his throat and then continues "what are these laws?"

And she laughs in a breathless way but he instinctively withdraws until he realizes that she's not laughing at him.

"Oh I'm talking about the Laws of the Universe. There are 12 of them and they dictate certain constructs. Sort of like the laws we follow now. Every universe has a set of laws that they follow, though I am unsure what set of laws the magical one follows."

He's been able to follow along with her explanation so far until she mentions other universes and a magical one no less.

"Magical?"

Luna nods sagely.

"Oh yes. They use wands to channel their magic for use. Hasn't anyone told you about this?"

Theo is still confused but shakes his head slowly and she sits up rummaging through her bag before pulling out a newsletter and handing it to him. It's really hard to read and he has to turn it upside down before anything makes even remotely sense.

"My daddy is the creator, editor and main writer for The Quibbler. He interviews all sorts of people who have actually seen glimpses of these other universes."

"Uh..."

Yes, elegant as fucking always Theo.

"Can you tell me more about these other universes?"

Luna smiles so brightly at him that he thinks that he's actually staring into the sun as she launches into an explanation of the multiverse theory.

000

"So, you met someone. That's good."

Theo is at his "therapist's" office and he tells him about the party earlier that month and Luna. Dr. Lupin- "Just call me Lupin, Theo"- is not an actual therapist, Theo just started referring to him that way much to Lupin's amusement.

When Theo started going to the university, Lupin was assigned to him as an advisor/mentor for his major, Theo was not very comfortable seeing him but as time went on and Lupin showed nothing but patient towards him Theo began to talk about himself more. Lupin became a trusted friend and it seems he is slightly amused at Theo's story and Theo wonders how that is even remotely good. Lupin gives him a small smile and looks at his notes as if reading his thoughts.

"It's good because it means that you have met someone other than your friends that broke through the protective shell you hide in."

"I don't fucking hide. And no this isn't good at all, because girls always at first fucking like the whole damaged goods but until they are confronted with it. They don't understand and then they leave. It's obvious that you don't understand either."

"But with this girl, Luna, she's different."

Lupin says it as a statement and Theo nods his head once in affirmation. He fiddles with his shirt button, clasping and then unclasping it again as he answers.

"She's, um, interesting. I like being around her and she doesn't seem to mind that I don't talk too much. But... I know it's not going to last, whatever this shit is. She's going to get annoyed with my quirks and my moods. They always do."

They lapse into silence and Dr. Lupin looks down at his notes before clearing his throat.

"Do you want to hear a story?"

Theo isn't sure why everyone around him wants to suddenly start telling him stories but he grunts as an answer and stares sullenly out the window.

"When I was a small child, maybe about 6 or possibly younger, I was led away from my house by an older boy, a teenager possibly early adulthood, I'm not sure. I had seen him before around the neighborhood and me being the friendly child that I was believed him when he said that he had something very special for me. But it wasn't nearby and I couldn't tell my mom where I was going because it was a secret."

Lupin stops and stares out the window as well lost in the memory before he shakes it off and continues.

"He led me out of my yard and down the street to what seemed to be an abandoned house. It had a high fence covered in vines and he told me that my surprise was over the fence. I just needed to climb."

Theo feels like he knows where this is going. His body tightens and he grips the side of his chair.

"So I climbed. Turns out the surprise where two incredibly vicious guard dogs that upon seeing me fall into their territory attacked me. Thankfully the house was not abandoned as I had thought it was and the owner got his dogs off me. Not before they left me with scars down my back, my arms and my scalp."

Lupin indicates the light spidery scarring that reaches across his temple and down his cheek meeting with more scars on his neck. Theo feels like fucking vomiting and his thoughts are too loud in his head. How could someone do that? Why would they do that?

"I can't answer those questions, Theo, because I honestly don't know."

Theo hadn't realized he spoke out loud and his cheeks flush and he feels like he wants to die. But Lupin waves off his embarrassment with a small smile.

"What I am saying is that it's safe to say that I understand what you are feeling. I struggled for a very long time with my injuries and the nightmares and it made it very hard for me to connect with others. I found it hard to trust and to open myself up because I was afraid of getting hurt. Even now, I still struggle on occasion with nightmares and panic attacks."

Lupin waits until Theo looks at him again before continuing.

"Then I met my wife and while everything didn't go away completely because it would be unrealistic to expect that; she made me feel safe because despite everything she stayed by my side even when it was hard."

They spend the rest of their time in silence.

000

The door to the dorm slammed open, banging against the wall, as Theo stormed in his emotions swirling around him like a tempest. He slams it closed behind him and stands in the room looking without seeing into the mirror hanging beside the door, his breathing harsh and audible in the silence.

"FUCK!"

Theo bellows and slams his fist into the wall repeatedly before moving on to his desk which he overturns scattering the papers and books on top. The force of his rage doubles him over and he clutches his hair, pulling roughly at the roots.

He knows he should stop but that need that need to destroy, to take it out on anything, everything, fuels him. His mind is screaming and he just wants it to stop.

Just to stop.

In his path of destruction, he locks eyes with himself in the mirror by the door. His hair is sticking up in all directions, his eyes are wild and glassy, his skin is pale and waxy. His chest rises and falls heavily and with a growl he slams his fist into the mirror cracking it.

The crunch satisfies him and he does it again the screaming inside his mind intensifies.

He cracks his fist against the mirror again and again until it cracks and shatters onto the floor. His anger goes with it and he moves away from the remnants of the mirror. He cradles his wrist to his chest and sits down on the tatters of his bed, white hot tears falling down his face.

From pain, from anger, from being so emotionally spent he doesn't know.

The door to the dorm opens slowly cautiously and Draco peers in. His face twisted into concern and anger as he surveys the damage. Theo watches him wearily as Draco picks his way across the room and sits down on the bed beside him. They don't say anything for a while as Theo's tears slow.

"Fuck."

Theo's voice cracks, his throat burns and he pulls his hand closer to his chest as he curls in on himself, the images of the night replaying behind his eyes.

He had gone out that night with Draco to see him play. Hermione, of course, joined and, surprisingly, Luna was brought along as well. At Theo's questioning glance, Draco explained, amused, that Hermione and Luna had become friends. Hermione finds her interesting, he said and Theo can't help but agree, his words from earlier that week echoing in his head. While initially uncomfortable- he is uncomfortable in most situations, so that's nothing new- they settled at the bar and Theo was content to listen to Hermione and Luna's conversation as he ordered their drinks after the show.

Letting the conversation flow around him, Theo didn't notice the man drunkenly stumbling toward them until he inserted himself between Luna and the bar. Luna's face tightens imperceptibly as the man spills his drink on the bar.

"'Ey, beauty! You're lovely! Look at you! Do you know how lovely you are?"

She leans away from him, annoyance on her face and Theo feels this unknown need to protect his sort of almost crush. He's fairly sure that Luna can take care of herself but it doesn't stop him from wanting to come to her defense if this man gets any closer.

"Cormac, I would like it very much if you would apologize to my friend, Theo and Hermione. That was very rude of you to interrupt our conversation."

Oh God… It's Cormac.

That pasty face bastard.

Theo remembers him from school. He mostly remembers Cormac as a failed rugby player who lost a spot on the team to an amateur who passed with sheer luck. Cormac was relegated to playing as a back-up- never played a game- but that didn't stop him from arrogantly strutting around the school like an over grown peacock. It also meant that Theo was the target of Cormac's underlying steroid addiction and the rage that came with it.

Cormac turns his head stares blearily at Theo, swaying on his feet as he turns to fully face him. His eyes narrow and a look of recognition settles on his face.

"I know you!" he points at Theo's face and turns his head to look at Luna, Theo swallows hard and hopes that he will mistake him from someone else but that hope is dashed when Cormac yells, "Theo the Creeper!" in a jovial tone and turns back to Luna.

"What are you doing here with him?" Cormac hitches his thumb at Theo who desperately wants to leave but it stuck in his chair. "I went to school with him. God, he was such a fucking creeper. He just glided down the halls like he was a ghost. He only hung out with that albino kid, his name was something like Darrien or Devon or whatever and this total complete bitch named like Patsy or Iris, some stupid flower name. Anyway! This guy here never talked to anyone else at all. Like he just sat in his chair and read books. Like who does that?"

Luna's gaze is hard and she stares at him with such distain. Cormac, of course doesn't notice and continues.

"Oh God, I remember this one time me and my mates corned him one day in the halls after school. He was alone and we chased him into the boy's locker room and locked him in the towel closet! For the whole weekend!"

Theo remembers that time, he was trapped in the dark and cold for the rest of the weekend before anyone was able to get him out. His grandparents threatened to sue the school but Theo was adamant that he accidentally did it himself. The school's administration let out a collective sigh and slaps on the wrists for the ones that were involved.

It was one of many incidents.

One of many incidents that Theo would much rather forget. But he can't not now, because they'll always follow him and no matter where he goes he's always the odd man out. The din of the pub has nothing on the roar in his head. He doesn't look at Luna, he doesn't want to see the disgust, the derision on her normally serene face. He doesn't want to see the pity that he is sure her eyes will reflect.

His feet take him blindly back to his dorm.

Draco is silent, he's been through this before with Theo and he's found that Theo appreciates the silence more so than any empty platitudes. The door cracks open again and Hermione sticks her head through, her brown eyes wide taking in the scene before her. He knows she wants to comfort, wants to fix but some things can't be put back together so easily. She approaches, words on the tip of her tongue when she sees Draco shaking his head at her slowly and stands to meet her. Hermione nods in understanding and they interlace their hands as Draco leads her toward the door where Luna is waiting.

She glances at them as they leave, a silent conversation passes between them, before making her way over to him. Lightly touching his shoulder she lays him down on his bed. Theo makes some room and they lay together, their faces almost touching. Luna lifts her hand and lightly runs it over his matted hair, moving it away from his forehead. They don't say anything, they're quiet breaths mingling between them. The room was in complete darkness except for the moonlight that streamed through the window beside his bed.

"I'm such a mess..."

Luna's hand stills in his hair before resuming the feather light touches.

"You're not a mess," she says as she moves her hand down his cheek. "Everyone carries their troubles with them. Sometimes it just gets too heavy to bare alone."

Theo nods slightly. He knows but he can't help but feel as if everything is worse because he is involved.

"When I was little, my... mum," his voice cracks on the word, it's been so long since he's talked about this. Talked about her. "My mum used to tell me stories to make me feel better when things got bad. The man she married," Theo refused to call him dad or father, "he didn't particularly like my episodes. I think to him I didn't quite cut it as a son… I didn't have a particularly good childhood."

That was an understatement of the century.

Tell me a story

Theo closes his eyes. He sees her sad smile and the tears in her eyes as she surveys the damage done.

"Once upon a time," he recites, his mother's voice still clear in his head.

"Once upon a time there was a mother bear and a baby bear that lived in the forest. They ate berries and fish and the mother bear took her little cub to play with the other forest animals when it got warm."

Theo hears the giggle as his mother tickles him and her tinkling laugh.

"One day the little bear got lost in the forest and couldn't find his way home. The mother looks and looks everywhere and can't find him. My mum always ended the story with the cub finding his way home," Theo says quietly.

Luna's eyes seem illuminated by the natural, she shifts closer until her forehead is touching his.

"Do you think in these other universes that…"

"Yes."

Understanding passes between them as they settle into a steady silence.

Everything will be ok, eventually.

Maybe not today, maybe not even 6 months from now but eventually.

As Theo drifts away, Luna wrapped in his arms, he dreams of bears made of starlight and he smiles.

Yes, eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> AN:
> 
> Metaphysics a branch of philosophy exploring the fundamental questions, including the nature of concepts like being, existence and reality. Traditional metaphysics seeks to answer, in a "suitably abstract and fully general manner", the questions: What is there?, And what is it like?
> 
> The 12 Immutable Universal Laws are a part of the study of Metaphysics:
> 
> Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy- All persons have within them the power to change the conditions of their lives. Higher vibrations consume and transform lower ones; thus, each of us can change the energies in our lives by understanding the Universal Laws and applying the principles in such a way as to effect change
> 
> Law of Polarity- Everything is on a continuum and has and opposite. We can suppress and transform undesirable thoughts by concentrating on the opposite pole. It is the law of mental vibrations.


End file.
